Never in the history of mankind has it been easier to find and make connections with other humans. Just one click is all that separates millions of souls searching online. The implications of this superpower-to-connect are just starting to unfold.
For example, the temptation to measure success by the volume of your connections – traffic, subscribers, readers, lists – can lead to a confusion between the terms ‘connection’ and ‘relationship’.
A connection is not a relationship
In this context,…
a connection is a link with another person. It’s a static point of contact where we join together. It may or may not lead to a relationship.
a relationship is the way we behave towards each other once we’re connected. It’s a dynamic two-way process where we interact.
Measuring success
Connections are objective data where success is all about quantity: traffic, number of followers, number of lists etc.
Relationships are personal interactions where success is all about quality: perception of trust and value, reliability, integrity etc.
Important differences
Consider the following key differences between connections and relationships:
1) Relationships can’t be automated, connections can
2) Relationships can’t be scaled, connections can
3) Relationships can’t be bought and sold, connections can
4) Relationships can’t be managed, connections can
5) Relationships can’t be accelerated, connections can
6) Relationships can’t be listed or ‘data-based’, connections can
7) Relationships are gifts that grow with shared participation, connections aren’t
A super opportunity
When relationships start to be treated like connections – data, it’s the fast-track to their destruction. One of the greatest opportunities on-line today is to use these amazing connection technologies to build strong and powerful global relationships. Finding new and better ways to do this will be a source of significant competitive advantage.
Your experience and opinion
- How have you distinguished between building connections and building relationships?
- What approach are you taking to building your relationships: volume/quantity-based or value/quality-based?
- What would happen if you put more time and effort into building quality relationships, rather than building quantity of connections?
13 Responses to this post
November 20, 2009 at 5:19 pm |
So true. Time to get real, again.
Thanks, Ben
November 20, 2009 at 6:12 pm |
Thanks, Ben. Really liked your latest post about ‘keep moving forward’. Thanks for participating.
Best, Robin
November 22, 2009 at 5:24 am |
Well, I agree with you again. You are right when you say that relationship is much more than a simple connection, and sometimes people confuse these terms.
To my way of thinking we should keep a balance: quantity/quality.
See you Robin.
December 2, 2009 at 1:27 pm |
An excellent point you make, David. Thank-you.
The key to balancing quality and quantity must then be to have a strategy – a way of making decisions about what connections become relationships i.e. where to invest the quality, given we have a finite quantity of time.
Thanks, David.
Robin
November 23, 2009 at 4:57 pm |
Lovely sketches and interesting thoughts. Sadly I don’t have any answers though – just more questions! When does a connection become a relationship? Are virtual relationships (via Twitter etc) real relationships? Why do people collect followers on Twitter? Where will it all end?
All great points you raised and so lovely to have the sketches. Reading is getting so old:)
December 2, 2009 at 1:41 pm |
Thanks for your encouragement, Annabel. Those are great questions, and ones that we will all need to address at some stage in our growth.
Take Twitter, for example. Of the 1000’s of followers one connects with, how will you decide (or them) who will develop into a relationship and who won’t? Your choice criteria will depend on your overall purpose and goals.
Far better to think these things through and have a plan for growing, rather than just bumbling along to see what happens.
Best, Robin
November 26, 2009 at 3:39 pm |
Intriguing post. Networks create opportunities for connections to happen. Managing connections opens doors for relationships to blossum. Building relationships is in a sense creating deeper and more meaningful connections. Which potentially may expand your network. : -) I’d have to say quality over quantity except when it is the other way around. Often depends on the outlet and/or business/personal purpose behind it. Are you the artist? Fun.
December 22, 2009 at 8:00 pm |
Thanks, Michelle. I appreciate your comment and really like the way you unfold the ideas.
Yes, I’m the artist – who loves to sketch and doodle.
Best,
Robin
December 1, 2009 at 10:08 am |
Nowadays when connections are easy to establish, the line between connections and relationships is really blurring.
This post of you Robin, is a perfect “wake up poke in the eye” for people like me having hard time to do this seperation. Thank you very much for this!
Best, Selcuk
December 22, 2009 at 8:02 pm |
Thanks, Selcuk. I hope the ‘poke’ didn’t hurt too much
. I really appreciate your encouragement. Thanks,
Robin
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